Day of Somethings

Week 12 of 52, Day 5 of 6
Days to next Tea TBA, Days to next dinner TBA

You have probably heard the phrase, "you are your own worst critic," but sometimes I think the truth is more "you are your own horrible dictator." Granted I'm only speaking to certain personality types here, but it seems to me that a lot of us get something in our head that we should do and then beat ourselves up like crazy in order to accomplish it. Sometimes this is called drive, but a lot of the time it stresses us out over silly things.

Do you need an example? Really? Other than the one floating in your brain right now? Ok, for instance, I love my quiet time with God in the morning. I love reading His word. Sometimes I do a published Bible study and sometimes I simply study and dig deeper on my own. Regardless of what kind of study it is my goal every time, "finish the study/book as soon as possible." Why? Because then I accomplished something. But I literally will rush through the study trying to get more than a days worth accomplished so I can finish on time or even early. Most of the time the "on time" is a date that I personally specified. In all of this I lose the main point of my quiet time and that is, "with God." God has never put a deadline on me. He has never said to me, "Briana, you are reading through and digging deeper in 1 Corinthians and that is great, but make sure you read the whole book in a month because its all about finishing!"

Recently I was praying with a precious woman and as I explained to her the things that I was very nervous about for the Christmas program she said, "make sure you don't miss your quiet time in the morning, you will need that in handling the people lovingly and Christ-like." Suddenly it hit me, I had slipped into the "finish quickly" mode again. So I have set aside my current Bible study, The Power Of A Woman's Words, and have taken up Streams In The Desert, and a few other daily devotions. I read whatever day it is, in 1 or 5 devotions. I may spend 1/2 hour or 5 minutes. Nothing is set. My main goal is to hear from God. I will pick up the other study again when God releases my heart to, but for now, it is His sweet presence ministering to my weary soul.